Is anyone even listening?

That question is one that many pastors have pondered in the middle of their sermon delivery, and for good reason too! It is not uncommon when preaching to assume many of our listeners are experiencing the same life circumstances we ourselves are in. As preachers, we may sometimes be inclined to prepare and teach our sermons with people like “us” in mind (the smaller your church, the more likely this is). 

Yet, we’re often ministering to congregations with sweeping life situations. Your sermon on raising a godly family is being heard not only by the fairly happily married young couple with twins, but also by the divorced-and-remarried-twice man, the grandfather estranged from his kids, the single-and-desperate-for-marriage young lady, and the college student who is secretly gay.

As pastors, preachers, and communicators of God’s Word, we need to enter into the lives of those we’re called to minister to and learn to speak the Living Words of Christ into their circumstances so that they feel like we understand exactly what they went through the week prior.

When we do this regularly, and in agreement with the Holy Spirit’s leading, it will result in dramatically transforming sermons that lead to spiritually thriving congregations. So if you will, allow me to share 10 life situations of the people I find myself ministering to on any given Sunday, some of who will be sitting in YOUR church this weekend eager to hear from the Lord through you. 

LIFE SITUATION 1: THE SINGLE PARENT WITH KIDS

They are carrying on their single shoulders the responsibility of two people, multiplied by the number of children they have. They’re probably working multiple jobs to make ends meet, and perhaps are still reeling from the impact of separation.  

When you preach to them, remind them that your church is a welcome home for them no matter what they’ve experienced in their background. Show them that any shame or guilt they may be carrying has already been nailed to the cross, and Christ has promised never to leave them or forsake them. Remind them that Jesus was at one point raised by a single mother (after Joseph was out of the picture), and remind them of the legacy that Timothy’s mother and grandmother left for the young pastor in his early years (2 Timothy 1:5).

LIFE SITUATION 2: THE GRANDPARENT WITH KIDS LIVING FAR AWAY

Life is lonely for them. They may or may not be estranged from their kids/grandkids, but they are not in regular contact for them. Furthermore, the world has become too technological advanced for them which deepens their sense of isolation because there’s a lot they’re not able to engage in. They may not be able to relate with all the current trends of the youth, and they miss the world they once grew up in.

When you preach to them, remind them of older men and women in the Bible who left a lasting godly legacy. Remind them that they have a LOT to offer by virtue of the fact that they have lived twice, thrice, sometimes four times as long as many in the congregation. Their wins and failures serve as powerful life lessons they can share with those who are yet to live it. Encourage them with Psalm 145:4 and urge them to commend to the next generation the mighty works of God they experienced in their lifetime.

LIFE SITUATION 3 – THE ORPHAN

It may seem odd that I’ve added this group to this list, but in my present ministry context in Jos, Nigeria, they are the norm and I have had to relearn how to convey the Father’s great love to people who have no dads at home. Either through abandonment or death, these individuals have never heard the affirming words of a father saying to them, “I love you and I am proud of you.”  As a result, the orphan in your audience may struggle to relate with your constant reference to “our loving Father in heaven.”

When you preach to them, uphold the picture of God the Father as the perfect picture of what our earthly fathers (tried) tried but failed to be. Remind them from Ephesians 1 that God chose and adopted them into His family, not because of anything they had done, but simply because it pleased God to do so. Get up close and personal and remind your orphans that you are proud of them, and you’ll be there for them should they need a listening ear.

LIFE SITUATION 4 – THE STRUGGLING NON-CHRISTIAN 

They are at your church and in your audience not just because life hasn’t lived up to its hype, but more importantly because God has been working on their hearts and the Holy Spirit has been drawing them near. Remember that! No man can come to the God Father unless the God the Father initiates the process. For this reason, they don’t need you to beat them over the head with your hell-fire sermons because its imminent reality is part of what has brought them to your church. 

So a few things. First, when you preach to them, remember that they don’t speak church-lingo and they don’t know church history. When you say things like, “Remember what the prophet Elijah said?” or “Let’s walk in the freedom of the Spirit through the blood that set us free!”, THEY HAVE NO IDEA WHAT YOU MEAN! Explain Jesus to them as you would to a young kid and go out of your way to paint the picture of their loving Father in heaven seeking out His lost son (them). Remember, what they most need to hear is that Jesus loves them, died for them, and rose again, and Jesus alone can reconcile them back into a right relationship with God…. so basically… stick to the Gospel!

LIFE SITUATION 5 – THE “HAPPILY” MARRIED COUPLE ON THE VERGE OF DIVORCE

Though they look as well put together as can be, they just had another huge fight before coming to church and words were spoken that cut so deep that it is distracting from hearing your sermon. Whether due to adultery, abuse, or just really terrible communication, both or at least one of them has already decided the marriage is going to end. 

When you preach to them, uphold marriage as an institution that God Himself established from the beginning starting with Adam and Eve. Hence it is not a covenant one should easily toss away. Remind them that Jesus compared the relationship of husband and wife to His relationship with the church (Ephesians 5:25-27). Then really quickly shift to the reality of godly married couples in the scriptures who got it wrong a lot of the time. Abraham didn’t always do right by Sarah, yet He remains the patriarch of our faith. David, the man after God’s own heart didn’t exactly start off as husband material when he met Bathsheba. Of course, let’s not forget that Adam was ready to blame all of humanity’s problem on Eve when God confronted him about the first sin (Genesis 3:12). 

The point is to show them that one sinful person saved by God’s grace plus another sinful person saved by the same grace DOES NOT equal happily ever after. Help them see that marriage is a lifetime marathon with many peaks and valleys couples will need to work HARD through. If you feel ill-equipped to do this, then point them in the direction of the best Christian marriage counselor you know.  

LIFE SITUATION 6 – THE WEALTHY AND COMFORTABLE 

Their tithes and offerings probably cover about a third of your overall church budget. Yet, you must be careful not to cater your sermons to them. They need to hear the full truths of scripture, even the hard and uncomfortable ones just as much as the middle class and the poor in your audience. 

When you preach to them, help them see from the scriptures that all their material possession is a gift entrusted to them by God to manage for a season. Please read that last statement again. Help them see that true wealth doesn’t come from accumulating more on earth (Luke 12:20), but true wealth comes by investing wisely in things that will last for all eternity, (namely, people and the spreading of the Gospel; Mathew 6:19-21). Teach and help them become Biblically prepared to answer the ultimate question God will ask every believer at the end of the age, “What did you do with all that I entrusted to you?” (2 Corinthians 5:10; Matthew 16:27)

LIFE SITUATION 7 – SINGLE AND HOPING FOR MARRIAGE

They are career-minded, and their lives revolve around their friendship with other singles. They love Jesus and would like to meet someone with whom they can grow a family that also loves Jesus. Yet, they may be frustrated that the marriage-material options in your church looks slim and are eyeing other churches in the community with more singles. On the other end of the spectrum, they may be visiting your church simply because you have a sweeping number of singles. 

When you preach to them, help them see that this season of singleness is a gift unlike any other period in their adulthood (1 Corinthians 7:34). When you’re preaching about family, love, and relationships, be sure to include in your sermon their single life stage and the experiences they go through. Consider teaching a Biblical series on singleness (Song of Solomon, Ruth, Jacob and Rachel, etc). Perhaps most importantly, create roles for them within your church to serve and invite them to be a part of the community. (I personally love the vision of having each family in the congregation adopt one or two singles where they open up their home for them to visit and do life together with). 

LIFE SITUATION 8 – THE MISSIONARY/EVANGELIST IN TRAINING

This person is restless in good way. In a best-case scenario, they are eager to jump into any ministry opportunity available and are constantly on the forefront of starting new ministries in your church to reach new people. In a worst-case scenario, they are restless in an unhealthy way and may accuse you of not doing enough to reach lost people in the community, or may feel like serving in your church is stifling them from being/doing all God has called them to.

When you preach to them, first of all, don’t condemn them, and don’t kick them out (unless of course they are truly toxic, in which case, bye!) The reality though for many congregants like this is that they may have the gift of evangelism and an apostolic type calling on their life which makes them the perfect candidate for missionary-type work. The key to ministering to them is to intentionally coach them, then launch them into a ministry outside the church that fits their giftings. Stay in touch with them when they hit a roadblock (which they will) and remind them of Paul’s missionary journeys and trials.

Teach them not only about the spiritual highs you experience serving the LORD, but also about the dark nights of the soul when you’ve considered quitting ministry. Most of all, remind them that ministry isn’t about starting off with fireworks and a bang, but it is about persevering every step of the way, and finishing the race well so that “…when the Chief Shepherd appears, [they] will receive the crown of glory that will never fade away.” (1 Peter 5:1-4) 

LIFE SITUATION 9 – SECRETLY GAY OR TRANSGENDER

This person is struggling with whether to continue being a part of the church or to jump in full-fledged with the LGBT community. They’ve remained in church either due to tradition or because of a genuine encounter they had/have with Jesus Christ. They are, however, battling between what they are hearing from the pulpit about the Bible’s condemnation of homosexuality and a changing culture that says, “You are just the way God created you.”

When you preach to them, first of all, understand that the main issue is their relationship with God, not their sexuality. Certainly, their relationship with God includes their sexuality, but it isn’t the totality of who they are. Take the time to learn about the whole person (them), and remember that ALL of us struggle with relationships, identity and sexuality. No matter what label they choose to place on themselves, view them as a man or woman made in the image of God, not as a “homosexual” or a “project.” Perhaps most importantly is to point them to Jesus, NOT to Heterosexuality. Above all else, Jesus Christ is who they need to look more like, so continually hold up Jesus and His words as the model of what godliness can and should look like in their life. Let Christ do the work of conforming them into His image!

LIFE SITUATION 10 – YOUR WIFE AND KIDS

A case can be made that this is your most important audience because you are first and foremost the pastor of your home before you are a pastor at church (1 Timothy 3:5). Besides, your wife and kids know the real you and can tell if what you are saying from the pulpit matches up with who you are at home. 

For this group, your sermon and ministry starts at home. A good habit that I have learned over the years is to share with my family through the week what I’m learning about the sermon I am preaching the coming weekend. It’s nothing formal, but more of a, “Hey, guess what I learned today about Moses’ brother and sister when they were young?” This has actually resulted in a win for my family because when Sunday comes around and they hear me preach the full message, they already feel like they have the inside scoop no one else has! The other important lesson to keep in mind when it comes to your family is to extend to them the same grace that you extend to your congregation. Lead them by example in their faithfulness to God, but allow them the space and grace grow in their love for Jesus at their own pace. 

And that, my friends are the 10 life situations to keep in mind when you’re preaching this weekend.

Now, if you’re a pastor or a regular communicator, you might be experiencing one of two reactions to this list. On the one hand, you might find it encouraging and eye-opening because you now have a better understanding of how and who to address your sermon to. On the other hand, however, you might find my list frustrating because you’re wondering how in the world you’re supposed to address all these different life statutes in one sermon.

So, here’s the deal. You can’t speak to everyone’s life situation in every sermon.

KNOW THEIR STORY

Prepare each sermon with the knowledge of the people God has entrusted to your care. In other words, you need to know your flock/audience. Your intimate knowledge of their lives and their stories, combined with the awe-inspiring power of the Holy Spirit working in you and in them, will result in sermons that cut through all their life clutter and speaks directly to their hearts.

This means that sometimes, in the middle of a sermon, when you spot a congregant who's story you know, you may need to quickly pivot your intended sermon direction to speak to their situation Biblically (in a way that doesn't embarrass them, hence the need for complete reliance on the Holy Spirit during preaching).

Brothers and sisters in the pulpit, as you step up to the pulpit to preach this weekend, I pray that the Author of Life fills you to overflow and empowers you in order that those entrusted to you might experience the fullness of Christ in every aspect of their lives!